Customs and (social) rules
Every country is different and even if you have visited Estonia before, once you live here, new things may come up about how Estonia and Estonians work. Here we give some tips to look out for or not be alarmed should you encounter them.
It really is true that we don’t smile that much. When you go to a supermarket or restaurant then don’t be alarmed if the person serving you is not smiling, not up for a small talk or has just a really tired look. You haven’t done (presumably) anything wrong and that’s just how it is.
We don’t tip. In Estonia workers receive salary and tipping them isn’t a norm. You can do it if your waiter was exceptionally nice or solved a tricky situation, or you have loose coins you want to get rid off but the general rule is no tipping.
Punctuality is important for us. If the class starts at 10 am, you should be in the class by 10 am. If you are supposed to meet your Estonian friend at 8 pm, then be there at 8 pm. Being late is seen as insulting the other side and wasting their time.
When darker times come we wear reflectors. It is mandatory and you might get fined if police sees you without it. You should have at least one reflector, hanging on your right side around knee height. You can buy them from any supermarket but often they are given out for free in different places, you can even swing by study department to ask for one.
Estonians are generally polite. That is shown in multiple ways. In Estonian we use quite a strict formal and informal you. As English doesn’t allow it in speech, you cannot adhere to that. However, using please and thank you, as well as mr/mrs/ms is appreciated, especially by older people. If the other side says that more formal speech is not necessary, it’s okay to become more informal with them.
We also like to queue, either in stores or waiting to get on a bus, as well as hold doors open and/or let people out from a room/building before entering ourselves. As with many things, the younger generation does not adhere to it that strictly but older generation does.
When you visit someone’s home, it’s custom to bring something (usually edible) as a thank you for the invitation. When you enter people’s homes you need to take off your shoes by the door, as walking with outside shoes inside is frowned upon and seen as dirty. It definitely applies to people’s homes but can also happen in doctors office, SPAs and beauty salons etc. Usually you can tell by seeing lots of shoes by the door or they have slippers to use. It’s also okay to ask them if you are not sure.
Estonians need their personal space. That means that keep distance in stores, queues, bus stations, etc. When you talk with Estonians, keep also distance and don’t be too close as they feel uncomfortable. Hugging and kissing on cheeks is really out of question. You might do it with a friend you have known for a long while but no new(ish) acquaintances. A handshake or just a hi/bye is enough and normal for us.